Damage
by Askre5
Summary: What if Raphael wasn't stopped in time when he attacks Mikey in the episode 'Meet Casey Jones'. This is at least one take on what might have happened.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Story originally written and posted 11/02 2006

Welcome to Damage, I was talked into to writing this story long ago and it is sort of a challenge fic.

It's a 'what if' story. Based on the beginning of 'Meet Casey Jones' episode from the 2003 cartoon. Basically it's what if Leo hadn't stopped Raph in time.

This story reflects at least how I theorize what might have happened.

There might be some OOC behavior, but with what they are dealing with in this story, you shouldn't be too surprised.

Some scenes in this fic might me modified versions of scenes from two episodes of the 2003 series. Episode four 'Meet Casey Jones' and ep five 'Nano'.

* * *

 **Disclaimer and Legal stuff:**

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles®, including Raphael®, Michelangelo®, Leonardo®, Donatello®, April O'Neil®, and Splinter® are registered trademarks of Viacom International Inc. Based on characters and comic books created by Peter A. Laird and Kevin B. Eastman.

I do not own them in other words.

This story is written purely as a homage to the Teenage Mutant Turtles and not meant for any commercial profit or infringement on copyright. This story will immediately be removed if Viacom International wishes so.

The story, is copyright © 2006 by Hermann Gunnar Sigurðsson (Askre).

 _Sum: What if Raphael wasn't stopped in time when he attacks Mikey in the episode 'Meet Casey Jones'. This is at least one take on what might have happened._

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

" _You think you're better than me? DO YOU!?"_

" _No, you're just too cocky Raph!"_

 _CRASH_

" _Winner and still champion. MICHELANGELO!"_

" _No… no… You…You!"_

" _Hya! Rrrrr!"_

" _Ugh, Raph… wait!"_

" _Rrrarrrr!"_

" _WAIT!"_

" _RAPHAEL!"_

 _THUNK!_

 _THUNK!_

" _RAPHAEL!"_

" _Huh! Leo? Wha… M-Mikey? Oh god no… NO!"_

"NO!" Raph shot up; he wasn't careful enough and fell off the hammock as he tried to struggle to his feet. For a moment, he knelt on the floor panting heavily trying to recover from the dream, a nightmare that was his fault.

"Mikey…oh Mikey… I'm so sorry," he whispered and slowly stood up. The red masked turtle climbed back into the hammock trying to calm himself down again. The tears threatened to come through.

He had finally paid a heavy toll for his anger. The turtle had always figured he would be able to control it, thought it was just a natural part of him. He was wrong and had to pay dearly for it.

Raph continued to try to calm himself down. Tried not to think about what had happened a month ago, but then he heard some commotion outside. The turtle glanced at the clock and noticed that it was almost time to wake up. It was no doubt Leo or Splinter he was hearing.

He took a deep breath and climbed out of his hanging bed, then began a slow walk out of his bedroom. It was hard for him to leave it; he didn't want to face them. The guilt and the pain was so much and seeing him, in the state he was now in just made it worse.

Raphael finally made it out of his room and turned to head towards the stairs that would lead down to the lower level. He stopped short at the cold gaze he met with from under a purple mask.

Donatello had just woken up as well and was leaving his room. The olive green turtle didn't bother utter a word to him, walked straight into the room next to his. Raph closed his eyes and swallowed the forming lump; Don hardly spoke to him any longer, not after what had happened.

"Ok Mikey, time to wake up," he heard the purple clad turtle say. The voice was so wrong; it was as if he was talking to a child, not a turtle his age. Raph cringed at the sound of the strange almost childish giggle.

"Woops, careful now," Don said with a slight chuckle. "You want to walk for me today Mikey?"

"Yah… okay Donnay…"

Raph felt a stabbing pain when he heard the voice. It belonged to his brother but it was even more child like than it should have been. The red clad turtle leaned up against the wall and placed one hand over his forehead. He fought back the tears. He had caused this. His anger had caused this.

Don came walking out of Mikey's bedroom and was supporting their brother. Holding him gently but firmly by the hips so he would walk, Mikey had one arm slung around his brother's shoulder. Every step seemed to be a struggle for him. He was very unsteady.

"Ok Mikey you are doing good, now the stairs." Don took a step first down the stairs and then his little brother took one. Together they slowly worked their way down to the lower level.

Raphael watched the whole process with heavy regret and guilt. A simple action of walking down the stairs was now a struggle for his brother. In fact walking was a struggle, he had to relearn to walk, most of the time Mikey crawled around the lair.

The red masked ninja inhaled deeply before daring himself to go downstairs. That was even harder than leaving the bedroom. Down there he could see where Don was helping their brother towards the kitchen for breakfast. Leo was in the dojo working out. Splinter was not out yet.

"Morning Raph," Leonardo addressed the red clad turtle when he noticed him coming down.

"Mornin'" Raphael muttered. He sat down on the ledge close to where Leo was training. One hand under his chin.

"You want to spar?" Leo asked as he did a sweeping motion with his leg.

"What's the point," his brother asked. "Why make me more dangerous than I already am."

Leo stopped his kata and sighed, he glanced at his depressed sibling. Mikey was not the only one who had changed after the fateful day. It was only because Splinter insisted that the three of them, he, Don and Raph still practiced. Their brother couldn't any longer, not in his current state.

"Come on Raph," the blue masked turtle said and motioned his brother to come. Leo understood him and felt the same and he did, shame and guilt. He had been few seconds too late, those seconds had been all it took to transform their brother.

"You should be like Don. You should hate me, and despise me. Refuse to talk with me." Raph didn't stand up only stared at the floor. Leonardo sighed and walked to the ledge and sat down beside his red clad brother, he put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Raph, we always knew your temper might get out of control. We always thought we would be prepared for it, I guess we weren't. I did feel angry at you for loosing control and attacked Mikey. However, I realized also that you hardly knew what you were doing, you were just so angry that you hardly registered your actions. I blame myself for being too late, I was close enough, I should have been able to stop you," Leo told him. "You are still my brother, no matter what happened and you need just as much support and Mikey does now."

"Your brother speaks the truth my son." Splinter had silently appeared behind them. He gently put a hand on his temperamental son's crown. "Rage is a monster that can be hard to control. You lost yours but we are with you now to help you control it.

Raphael didn't answer; he just sighed and continued to stare at the floor. Leo patted him on the shoulder and stood up.

"I'm going to get Don for morning practice," he said and walked towards the kitchen.

Inside the kitchen, Donatello had Mikey seated at the table; the youngest turtle was making his best attempts to eat with out too much mess. Unfortunately, his hands were shaking, sometimes he didn't even have much control over them and they just jerked in another direction.

Leo hesitated for a moment when he entered the room. It always tore at his heart to see Mikey's face. His left eye was beyond any kind of healing, sunken into the socket and completely lifeless. There was a permanent scar going over the eye and the left side of his face; were the pipe had made contact.

The right eye held no longer the mischievous glint it once had contained along with the now dead left one. Now it just shone almost childish innocence and sometimes confusion.

"Morning Don, morning Mikey," Leonardo addressed his brothers. He strived to talk normally with Mike despite his condition. Of course, sometimes they had to clarify to the once orange glad turtle what they said, as Mikey no longer had the same concept over things he once had.

"Good morning." Don nodded to Leo and then continued to watch Mikey eat.

"Gooh…goohd mornahing." Mikey looked up from his cereal bowl smiling wide. Leot smiled back and held back his other feelings. It was so strange that Mikey not only had to learn to walk again, he had to learn to talk as well.

"Mikey, you remember who that is?" Donatello addressed his brother and pointed at Leonardo. Mikey glanced at his purple clad brother and then looked at Leo. His good eye narrowed and his brow sunk into heavy thought.

"L…Leo," he said after few seconds. Leonardo smiled wider and clapped his hands.

"Good, very good. Maybe your memory is finally recovering somewhat." Don patted his younger brother on the shoulder. Mikey laughed and clapped his own hands, accidentally spilling some of his breakfast from the spoon he held.

"Careful, careful." Donatello picked up a cloth and dried up the mess. He then proceeded to wipe Mikey's mouth and hands.

Leonardo had to admire his intelligent brother's patience. He slowly and steadily guided their brother through the rehabilitation program. Never once did Don show any kind of frustration or tiredness if Mikey didn't seem to make a process, which happened all too often.

The only thing that caste a shadow over this whole deal was Don's new found bitterness towards their red clad brother. Donatello had never forgiven him for what had happened; in fact he refused to even acknowledge him anymore. Relented to the idea that they had to share the same lair, but that was the limit of his tolerance.

"I take it I'm to report to practice?" Donatello's question brought Leo out of his thoughts. The blue clad turtle nodded.

"Ok, Mikey come on. I'll clean up here when I'm done practicing." the purple clad turtle helped his brother to stand up. However, Mikey's legs failed to hold him up so Don gently lowered him to his knees. "That's ok Mikey, you will try walk later."

"Okay…" Mikey actually sounded disappointed as his hands landed on the floor and the turtle began his crawl out of the kitchen. Leo smiled reassuringly down to his brother.

"Don't worry Mikey, you will walk again," he said and followed Don and Mikey out.

Raph cringed when he saw Mikey come crawling out of the kitchen followed by Don and Leo. He sometimes wished they had him wear the orange mask to conceal the damaged eye.

Donatello refused to allow Mike wear the mask, not after the damaged turtle almost strangled himself on it when playing with it. Nope they had to treat him like an actual baby, no long cords, no plastic bags, nothing he could choke on or hurt himself with.

The only thing of his old gear Michelangelo still wore was his knee and elbow pads. Everything else had been removed.

While they practiced, Splinted kept an eye on Mikey, fortunately the turtle most of the time sat still while his brothers sparred or did other exercises. Sometimes he tried to crawl off but was then gently reminded by the old rat to stay still. Splinter like Donatello had endless patience for his unfortunate son.

Practice ended with out a hitch, Don almost immediately went to tend to Mikey who jumped up and down clapping his hands. He knew what was next, always after morning practice Donny took him to the television monolith and allowed him to watch the TVs. Of course the purple clad turtle always had him watch something that was educational, to help him to learn talking again among other things.

Raph couldn't watch it when his two brothers, one crawling, headed for the TVs. He took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen to have some breakfast. If he could stomach one, the turtle hadn't eaten properly since the day the pipe fell.

Leo sighed as he watched his brothers go into the separate directions. Next to him stood Splinter, also worried over the rift that was between two of the turtles.

"You think Mikey will be ok one day sensei?" the blue masked turtle asked as he looked at his master.

"I fear Michelangelo will never be the same he once was. All we can do is help him, he might one day recover somewhat and be able to return to training. But he will never be the same," the old rat said sadly.

Leonardo could only nod at his sensei's words. He had sometimes hoped that one day Mikey would return to his normal mischievous self. However, the turtle also knew that hope was on a shaky ground.

Splinter retired to his chamber to meditate and the blue masked ninja headed for the kitchen to get some much needed breakfast. He halted in the doorway and his eyes grew wide in shock. Raphael stood by the table and in his hands was a knife.

"Raphael… please put that down," he snapped. Raph lifted his head to stare at Leo. He looked almost like he had just woken up. He glanced back down at the knife.

"Put that knife down now!" Leo ordered and felt a slight panic come over him. There was nothing on the table that indicated Raph's intention to use the knife for food.

Finally, the blue masked turtle stalked towards his brother, grabbed the hot tempered ninja's wrist and forcefully removed the knife. Raphael hardly even registered this action; Leo stood beside him holding the weapon and breathed heavily as he calmed down.

"Sit down, I'll get you some breakfast," Leonardo said and pushed Raph down in a seat. "And please don't do that again."

"Why don't you hate me, Leo?" Raph asked while blue masked brother prepared the food.

"I already told you, you are my brother. And I care about you no matter what happens, I have vowed to protect you, Don and Mikey, even if it means protecting you from yourself," Leo said and placed two sandwiches in front of Raph. He then poured him a glass of milk.

"I failed Mikey and we are paying that price. I'm not failing him again and I'm not failing you," he continued as the ninja began making his own breakfast. As he finished making another sandwich his thoughts wandered to the day that changed everything.

* * *

" _You think you're better than me? DO YOU!?" Raphael yelled as he charged towards his sibling. Michelangelo smiled tauntingly as their hands locked and the two sparring turtles pushed at each other._

" _No," Mikey said then swiftly moved to the side and flung his brother over the room._

" _You're just too cocky Raph!" he stated as Raphael flew across the dojo and landed on a table._

 _CRASH_

" _Winner and still champion. MICHELANGELO!" Mikey cheered and raised his hands high in a victory wave. He didn't' notice Raph slowly standing up grabbing for one of the pipes that had held the table up. He was breathing heavily and the anger was rising to more than usual levels._

" _No…" he growled. "No…"_

" _You…" His voice changed into a snarl as he stood up straight wielding the pipe. "You!"_

" _Hya! Rrrrr!" he roared as he jumped towards Mikey who didn't notice him in time. Mikey heard the incoming roar and as he turned to see Raph landed a kick on his plastron, sending him to the ground and pinning him down with a foot._

" _Ugh, Raph…," Mikey realized that his brother was really mad and would probably hurt him. He raised his hands and to shield himself "Wait!"_

" _Rrrarrrr!" Raph didn't hear the pleas, he hardly even saw. The only thing he did was growling and raising his blunt weapon._

" _WAIT!" Mikey shouted again._

" _RAPHAEL!" Leo came running, it was clear that his brother was beyond any self-control. However, the blue masked turtle was too late. The pipe went down._

 _THUNK!_

 _Leo had to force himself to not stop in shock and horror. The pipe went up again; the turtle jumped hoping to stop this. He was too late to stop the blunt object._

 _THUNK!_

" _RAPHAEL!" Leonardo landed on Raphael pushing him off their unconscious brother. They landed on the dojo floor, with the blue masked ninja pinning the red one down. The bloodied pipe rolled out of Raph's hands._

" _Huh! Leo?" Raph blinked as if newly awoken and saw the grim face of his brother who held him down._

" _Wha…" Raph raised his head and his eyes widened in shock where he saw Mikey, now cradled in crying Donatello's arms. "M-Mikey?"_

" _Oh god no…" Raph tried to rise up but Leo held him down. "NO!"_

 _Leonardo didn't let go of his brother until Don had carried Mikey away to the infirmary. Even then he stopped Raph from running after them, told him to stay still while Don and Splinter took care of their brother._

" _What were you thinking Raphael," Leo growled, feeling anger and resentment. He had never believed that Raph was actually capable of doing something like this._

" _I…I… Mikey…" The red masked turtle couldn't answer; he just stared in the direction of their infirmary. His face showed mix of shock and horror._

* * *

Leonardo sat at the table with his breakfast. Raphael had hardly nibbled at his, just sat and stared at it with one hand under his cheek.

"Are you coming with me to April's? She wanted some help with the shop she is opening, maybe we should have your new friend come too," Leo suggested. Raphael shrugged indifferently.

"I guess," he then muttered.

The blue masked turtle smiled reassuringly, he was not going to give up on his either of his brother. He was definitely not going to fail them again.

In the living room, Donatello was at his workstation that was close to the TVs. He had long since shifted things a bit so he always had an eye on them while Mikey was watching.

"What are you doing my son?" Splinter addressed him.

"Just fixing this security sensor, it will be added to the perimeter alarm," Don explained while using a screwdriver to tighten any loose screws. Splinter glanced where Mikey stared at the TVs wide eyed and smiling in wonder.

"How well would you say your brother is doing?" the old rat asked.

"He's doing slightly better, he remembered who Leo was." The purple clad turtle didn't stop for one moment what he was doing. "And he managed to walk down the stairs without asking to be allowed too crawl the rest down. In fact I helped him walk all the way to the kitchen."

"But that probably tired his legs out, he couldn't stand well enough to walk after breakfast," Don added and looked at his brother and then at Splinter. "But he is making some process."

"That is good," Splinter nodded.

"My main concern is with how much of old Mikey is in there," Donatello then said and first now put the sensor and the screwdriver away. "You know these tantrums he sometimes throws, they almost are like frustration. Like he knows but just can't do anything."

"You can't find out?" his sensei asked. Don shook his head no.

"Not while he can't speak properly or even write. I tried to see if he could write, he didn't even try to scribble on the paper. He tried to eat the pencil. I'm not saying he has full memory, but sometimes he might get a jolt of how he used to be and that's when he throws his tantrums," the purple masked ninja explained.

"And just earlier in the kitchen, when his feet gave in so he had to crawl, he sounded disappointed when I told him he could try walk later," he continued. "I do believe that there is a possibility that some of old Mikey is still there, or even resurfacing."

"That is good to hear." Splinter nodded and now turned fully to his olive green son. "There is also another matter I must discuss with you."

Don sighed, his content smile disappeared and the brow sunk into a frown. He knew what was coming next.

"I'm sorry sensei… what you are going to ask, I'm sorry I can't do it." Hs voice was unnecessary cold and emotionless.

"Donatello, this can't go on, he is your brother as well," the old rat reminded him.

"That psycho is NOT my brother," Don hissed but slapped his forehead. "Sorry Sensei, but I just can't do it. I just can't."

"Don't you see how he suffers as well? He regrets what has happened, he is in pain because of what he did," Splinter said ignoring his son's outburst and apology.

"Good for him," the purple clad turtle snorted and picked up the sensor and the screwdriver again.

Splinter shook his head, there was very little he could do while Donatello didn't want it. The old rat could only hope that one day he could get through that cold hard stone the purple clad turtle had built around his hearth regarding Raphael. He slowly tried to chip at it but it was difficult work. Don like all of his sons, could be quite stubborn when he wanted too.

"D..Donnay?" Mike called interrupting them. Don looked up and saw where his brother had begun crawling towards them.

"Mikey, it's not time for your exercises yet," the purple clad turtle reminded his brother and now smiled warmly and his frown was gone.

"D…D…Donnay? W…wherre… whurs…" Mikey crawled all the way to them while straining to ask his question.

"That's ok Mikey, you can do it," Don coaxed him gently. The younger turtle had arrived and now sat in font of his purple masked brother.

"Wheeere," Mikey finally said, he wasn't smiling he was frowning. "Wheeere Rrrrraph is?"

Both Splinter and Don stared at the younger turtle in stunned silence. Mikey never acknowledged his red clad brother this whole month since the incident. Don never mentioned him and although Splinter did, Mike's fragile mind didn't always comprehend it.

Now out of the blue, he had crawled to them and asked where his red masked brother was. Splinter could only wonder what was going on in his youngest son's mind. Don looked more thoughtful, for the first time in a month he glanced Raphael's way without the cold emotionless eyes. The red clad turtle was just about walking out of the kitchen accompanied by Leo.

 **End chapter 1**

* * *

 **A/N:** Mikey's condition is not made up. It's seriously real. I have personally not met people who have gone through this, but my mom has worked in places were they are treating people that suffer this.

It can happen in many ways and a traumatic brain damage is one of them. The people almost literally go through a second childhood, have to relearn everything, it's really sad to see these people. Adult body, toddler mind. And in some cases they have some memories when they were normal, and that I think is even worse, knowing in a way that they used to be different but are now stuck like this.

Some never recover.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted 13/02 2006

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Master Splinter knew immediately what had to be done. He was aware that Donatello would probably protest it or at the very least not like it but Michelangelo had asked.

"Raphael, your brother is asking for you," he addressed the red clad turtle who was again sitting dejected on the ledge near the dojo area.

"Huh? Wha?" Raph looked up; he saw that Splinter was motioning for him to come. The turtle hesitated, Donatello was obviously not happy about him coming too close but sensei had called. He gulped; Mikey still sat and stared at Don and Splinter waiting for his answer.

"Michelangelo, Raphael is on his way," the old rat addressed his son. He was mildly surprised and pleased that a smile crawled over Mikey's beak. Don made obvious signs that he was holding back a snort.

"Rrrrraph." Mike turned so his shaky head and faced the approaching red clad turtle.

Raph stopped before he came too close, Mikey held out his hands towards him staring with expectations in his right eye. The older ninja glanced confused at Splinter. He had never interacted, mostly thanks to Donatello, with Mike since the incident. Because of that, he had no idea what his brother could mean.

"He wants a hug," Donatello said rather forcefully. He was straining to be civil, at least while Splinter was present.

Raph felt a lump form in his throat. His brother, the one who he had hurt so badly wanted to hug him? Slowly he approached and knelt in front of him. Mike leaned forward and wrapped his shaking arms around his brother.

"Y…Y….yu…. Rrrrraph," Mikey said. Raph glanced warily at Don who rolled his eyes.

"He's just saying who you are," Don said somehow managing to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "He's identifying you."

"Oh." Raph nodded and looked away from his purple clad brother. He was hugging Mikey back now. "Yeah, I'm Raph."

"Y…Y…yu… cry?" The younger turtle freed himself from the embrace to look at his brother's face. Indeed tears had begun crawling slowly from the corner of Raphael's eyes.

"Yeah," the red masked turtle confessed and stared sadly at the damaged face of his brother.

"W…whha…why cry?" It was such an innocent question. Raph almost choked on his own emotions. Why cry indeed.

"Because Mikey…" Raph whispered hugging his younger brother again. "Because I hurt you… and… and I'm so sorry."

Raphael let him go when Mikey didn't return the hugs. The older ninja feared he had scared his brother whose face was wrinkling in strange frown. His good eye looked confused.

Suddenly a strange sound began coming out of his mouth, sounded between a whine and a frustrated groan. Mikey looked distressed and began throwing his arm around while making the frustrated sound again and again.

"W-what's wrong." Raph leaned back confused and shock. Don shook his head and slid down to the floor from the chair.

"He's beginning to throw a tantrum," he snapped as he knelt beside his baby brother and grabbed him into his arms.

Mikey trashed around, hitting and kicking while making the same frustrated noise. Don just held him firmly and talked calmly too him. Raph was shocked and horrified, he had only heard from the distance when Mikey had these fits. The turtle had never witnessed them first hand.

"Sssh, it's ok Mikey, it's ok," Donatello continued with a soothing voice.

"D-d-d-d-doonnay!" Mikey cried. He stopped his trashing and now wrapped both arms and legs around his purple masked brother.

Raph was still kneeling nearby, but now both hands covering his face. He was trying to keep his own sobs and tears away. The only reason Mikey was behaving like that was because of him, and experiencing it firsthand had not been pleasant.

"Come my son." Splinter placed one hand gently on Raphael's shoulder. The old master had noticed the stare Don was now giving his red masked sibling. He was not going to give his son a change to lash out on his pained brother.

"This is a common occurrence, he has one at least twice a day," Splinter explained to Raph as they both walked away from the workspace. "Your brother has theorized that it is possible that Michelangelo is remembering what he used to be able to do and it frustrates him."

"You… you think he remembered me… what I did to him," Raph whispered glancing back were Mikey still clung to Donatello.

"We do not know. It is impossible to tell in the state your brother is." Splinter sighed sorrowfully.

They approached the dojo area were Leo was in a full out katana kata. His swords sliced and stabbed the air. The turtle's face showed great concentration. It was full five minutes before he finally finished and sheathed his swords.

"Ready to go Raph? April is expecting us before lunch," the blue masked turtle addressed his brother.

"Yeah I guess," Raphael muttered. His mind was wandering to the reason he had kept his distance from Mikey the past month.

* * *

" _Don… how is Mikey," Leo asked as he walked into the infirmary._

" _H-he is unconscious," Don's voice was broken. "I think the skull is fractured… he… he may not wake up ever."_

 _Leonardo grimaced at the sight of their orange masked brother lying on the infirmary bed. Almost his whole head was covered in bandage; it was mostly concentrated on his left side. Only part of the beak and his right eye were visible._

" _I am keeping an eye…" Don stopped and stared at the doorway. Leo turned and saw Raph stand there looking at the bed horrified._

" _Oh… my… no… I-I didn't…" He took one step inside._

" _STAY OUT!" the roar almost made Leo jump out of his shell. That had been Donatello's voice but the purple clad turtle had never roared like that ever before._

 _Don had his Bo staff in hands and glared furiously at their stunned red clad brother. The olive green turtle actually hissed and his breathing was rapid._

" _STAY OUT YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Don snarled stunning is two brothers even more, especially with the use of profanity._

" _Don?" Leo had a hand on his chest, completely taken aback by his brother's behavior._

" _Get that psycho out of my SIGHT!" Don threatened to approach swinging his staff. Leonardo immediately stepped into his way to prevent him from reaching Raphael._

" _Donatello, calm down!" the blue masked turtle ordered._

" _I will calm down when that LUNATIC, is out of my infirmary!" the purple clad ninja snapped._

" _Don that is your brother you are talking about," Leo said._

" _No, my brother is on that bed with a cracked skull thanks to that maniac, that… that THING in the doorway is not my BROTHER!" Don snarled. Leo actually gulped it was apparent that his intelligent brother meant business._

" _Raph… you better step out, to keep the peace," the oldest turtle glanced at Raph who stood shaking in the doorway. The red masked ninja nodded and stepped out._

 _Donatello stood up straight, put his Bo staff to his back again and turned to the infirmary bed. Leonardo folded his arms staring still shocked at his brother._

" _Ok what was that attitude about," he asked finally. Don didn't answer; he began checking the heart monitor and other equipment he had hooked to his brother to aid him in keeping the turtle alive._

" _Donatello, that was totally uncalled for. I know Raph lost control, but it was an accident," Leonardo said._

" _Accident?" Donatello glared at him, he gestured to their unconscious brother. "Tell that to Mikey, if he ever wakes up again."_

" _Look Don…"_

" _Don't 'look Don' me, I saw what happened there. I want nothing to do with that lunatic anymore. He better stay out of the infirmary, away from me and Mikey," the purple masked turtle snapped._

" _Don…" Leo stopped when he heard the sob, then the footsteps as somebody ran across the lair. The blue masked turtle rushed to the doorway and just missed it as Raphael ran out of the lair._

" _Oh great." Leonardo glanced towards Splinter who was returning from the kitchen. His sensei nodded, and the blue clad turtle immediately ran after the red masked one._

* * *

April was not very surprised to hear the doorbell from the back door chiming. She stopped her dusting and walked to it. As the woman opened the door, she smiled when seeing three turtles standing outside. She was mildly surprised to see Donatello in this close proximity to his red masked brother.

"Hey guys," she greeted them brushing her surprise off. "Thanks for coming; I need all the help I can get."

"Right, first off I have a heater that won't heat," she said. Don almost immediately stepped forward; he carried both a large bag and few pipes.

"Hence these," he said showing the steel objects, his smile a bit smug before he continued to walk into the store. April pointed him in the right direction before turning to Leo and Raph.

"Raph, glad to see you decided to come." the woman smiled at the dark green turtle that smiled weakly. "Ok you two that whole wall of antiques needs moving."

"Carefully," she then added and to show her point she waved the duster at them almost threateningly.

"Hey… I'm a ninja, not a…" Raph felt some of his old attitude come up. For some reason April could always make him feel slightly better about himself. His carapace was grabbed firmly from behind by Leo who pushed him into the store.

"Your wish is our command," he declared, but couldn't help it but smile wide when hearing some of old Raph shine through his brother. He only wished it would last. Unfortunately, it was sure to disappear once they returned to the lair, where Mike and Splinter waited their return.

However, April was really surprised when the tall dark haired man suddenly stood in the doorway. She blinked wondering if she was seeing things.

"You're… not a turtle," the woman commented.

"Uh, definitely not," the man responded.

"I hope you don't mind, we brought along a friend." Leonardo appeared leaving Raph standing next to a closet full of antiques.

April raised a hand offering to shake, but the man who was still very stunned simply raised his in a wave.

"Yo… uh, Casey," he said lowering the hand back. "Casey Jones."

"Hey, eh nice junk," the man offered as he walked further into the store.

"It was my dad's," April began explaining looking awkwardly at the duster.

"The shop I mean. I'm reopening it, uh for now," she said throwing the cleaning object away. The woman then turned to Casey who had been looking around but faced her again. "Until I figure what to do with myself."

"My last job ended kind of… weirdly," April then said with a shrug.

"Ooh I get it," Casey said smiling while rubbing his chin. "While you are waiting for a real job to come a long, you're just hidin' out in your pop's junk shop. 'this cool."

"It's an antique shop," April corrected slightly miffed at her store being called a junk shop. She then pointed at the man frowning. "And I'm not hiding from anything."

"Hey, whatever babe." Casey shrugged turning away and walked off.

"Babe?" the woman couldn't believe her ears. Shaking her head, she turned to Leonardo.

"Where did you dig him up," she asked between gritting teeth.

"Ah." Leo rubbed the back of his neck grinning sheepishly. "Raph and I kind of stumbled up on him. Well Raph did and then I. You know shortly after, you-know-what."

"Oh," April's voice lowered and her face softened. "So how are things down there?"

"Well, Don says Mikey is showing some process," the blue masked turtle explained now smiling weakly. "He remembered who I was this morning."

"Oh that's fantastic," the woman said with a warm smile. Mikey had so far only remembered Splinter and Don's names.

"He also asked for Raph, even hugged him," Leo continued but then his smile dropped. "But then he had his tantrums. Poor Raph thought it was his fault."

"Has he… tried again?" April turned to look where Raph had begun trying to move the closet on his own and was Casey now approaching him, saying something about 'two-mans job'.

Leonardo knew what she meant; he glanced at his red clad brother remembering the scene in the kitchen. Raph holding the knife and no indication of what he was going to do with it.

"No, but then again Master Splinter and I have been keeping a careful watch on him," he muttered shaking his head. "If we could get Don to stop with his attitude, it might even help Raph further."

"Which brings me to that question, how did you get those two in the same truck with out one killing the other?" April asked very well aware of Don's opinion on his brother. Leonardo folded his arms rolling his eyes.

"Oh Master Splinter used a very ancient technique," he claimed. "He ordered him. And I am to report any misbehavior and there will punishment for the slightest one."

"I just wish Don could see how much pain Raph is in," the turtle then added with a sigh. At that moment, Donatello returned from the basement dusting off his hands.

"The heater should heat now," he said. "I left the bag downstairs, in case it goes wonky again. It has all the necessary parts."

"Thank you Don, you can go now and move those big heavy boxes over there," April pointed at a stack of boxes further in the shop.

"Sure thing." The purple masked turtle cracked his knuckles and stretched his arms before walking to the boxes.

"Are you alright?" Leo noticed that the woman had suddenly become rather sad when watching the olive green turtle start his work.

"Oh… I just remembered when Mikey finally woke up," she whispered. April had been present when that happened. Three days after the incident.

* * *

 _Donatello sighed and gently stroke his brother's plastron. He had determined that the skull might have escaped fracture but that didn't mean there hadn't been a damage. The turtle wouldn't know until Mikey woke up._

" _Anything?" April walked into the infirmary. Don shook his head and turned towards the woman._

" _So, what's up," he asked quietly._

" _Well, I'm planning on reopening my shop, it will take a while to get the right paperwork before I can really open it," she explained with a weak smile._

" _Good for you." Don attempted to smile but failed. He looked at the bed and noticed that Mikey's right eye was blinking open._

" _Mikey?" the purple clad turtle took a closer look. The eye stopped blinking and looked at the smiling turtle hovering above. "Mikey you are awake!"_

" _He's awake?" April smiled and rushed to the bed. Then she noticed that Don's smile had disappeared and the turtle looked worried._

" _Mikey, can you talk with me? How do you feel?" the purple masked ninja asked. The other turtle didn't respond, just stared at him almost confused but with curiosity._

" _Mikey?" April asked. Almost instantly the right eye moved to look at her, but the woman was only met with silent wonder._

 _Suddenly Mikey began giving a sound; he grimaced and breathed more rapidly. His hands started to move around and he kicked the legs upwards. Don tried to hold him still, talked calmly and soothingly._

 _The young turtle calmed down but continued to stare at Don with no recognition. No words came from his mouth, although he opened it and closed it again few times._

" _What's wrong with him, it's like he doesn't recognize us and why doesn't he talk?" Don looked his brother all over and then glanced April's way who seemed just as lost._

" _Mikey, it's me Donny," Donatello addressed Mikey in one more attempt to get some recognition. He grabbed the shaky right hand of his little brother, gently squeezing it._

 _He got some reaction, Mikey smiled suddenly but there was something strange about it. Don heard April gasp, he looked her way again. The woman was holding both hands over her mouth._

" _Don… he almost reminds me… of how an infant would behave," she whispered._

" _W-what?" Donny's eyes almost enlarged in surprise. He looked back at his brother who dropped the smile when he saw Don wasn't smiling. "He responds to how…oh no."_

" _You don't think…" the purple masked ninja turned once more to the woman._

 _Few hours later everybody, safe for Mikey who was now sleeping in the infirmary, were gathered in front of it. Don and April were in the position in front of the doorway, Leo and Splinter stood in front of them. Raph tried to stay out of sight close to a nearby pillar._

" _Ok the good news are, Mikey is awake," Donatello said, he was not surprised that his brothers and sensei looked happy. They were hearing this for the first time._

" _The bad news is." Don swallowed a forming lump and gave Raphael a dagger glare. "He is now essentially an overgrown infant. His brain has been damaged so badly that he has to relearn everything."_

" _We ran a diagnostic on the internet, all the signs fit." April picked up the explanation. "There is a slight change of full recovery but there is also an off change that Mikey will have to re-enter his child hood. Starting on the infant stage."_

" _April found a rehabilitation program that are used on people with this kind of condition; I'm still reading through it. This will require a lot of patience, there is no telling how Mikey will respond to the treatment. The most danger is if he recovers a bit of his memories but can't do anything, it might drive him into depression and make him even harder to rehabilitate." Don sighed and looked down._

" _Don, its ok we can do it. We will all help Mikey through this," Leo said. Splinter nodded in agreement._

" _I-is Mikey going to be ok?" Raph dared himself to ask. Don shot him an ice-cold glare._

" _Maybe," he hissed. "But why should you care? He is like this because of you!"_

" _Donatello," Splinter addressed his son sharply. The purple clad turtle held on hand up shaking his head._

" _Don't ask me to apologize, Master Splinter. I don't want to see that psycho close to either me or Mikey. There is no telling what kind of reaction my brother will have when he sees him," the purple masked one snapped and stormed into the infirmary. Everybody stared shocked after his retreating shell. Raph gulped, he knew very well that when Don said 'my brother', he wasn't talking about the red masked one._

* * *

Raph sighed while staring up at the ceiling in his room. He was in his hammock and it was night. The turtle couldn't sleep; he kept having the same nightmare and had little desire to revisit it.

The rest of the day helping April in her shop had pretty much gone without a hitch. Don simply ignored him, thus keeping the atmosphere reasonably tolerable. Raphael had even managed to smile for a bit. It disappeared almost as soon as they returned to the lair.

Mikey had immediately crawled to Don wailing his name. Their brother really didn't like loosing sight of the purple masked turtle for a long time. He seemed to trust Splinter enough to listen to him but sometimes, especially if Mikey threw a tantrum it was only Donatello who really could calm him down.

Their sensei reported that their brother had indeed thrown a tantrum two hours after they left. The old rat had tried his best to calm down his distressed son and eventually Mikey did stop but was after that constantly whining for Donatello.

Raph had somehow felt that was so wrong. Splinter was their father. They always went to him for comfort and security. Now it seemed that Mikey only looked at him as the second best choice if Don wasn't around.

The red masked turtle was sure that though Splinter didn't seem to mind, he simply hid is true feelings. It must hurt him that his son didn't seem to look at him as his father anymore.

However, Raph didn't blame Don, how could he? The only one Raphael blamed was himself, he had ripped the family apart.

He heard Don's voice coming from Mikey's room. Their brother probably had woken up and Donatello was quieting him down. Sometimes the purple masked turtle had to stay for some time in Mike's room to get him to sleep. Raphael recalled that Don had simply slept there during the first week.

Raphael sighed and felt a tear crawling down his cheek. He recalled the hug Mikey had given him, asking him why he was crying. Then he had his tantrum and Raph began to worry that his baby brother had remembered what happened.

 _He probably got scared of me, he remembered I'm the turtle who hurt him,_ the red masked ninja thought. He slowly climbed out of his hammock and walked to the doorway of his room.

"Go to sleep Mikey, it will be a long day tomorrow and you need your rest," the quiet voice of Donatello came from the room next to his.

"Donnay rrread?" Mikey said.

"No Mikey, we have finished reading. Now we go to sleep," Don responded.

"L-Leo rrread?" the younger turtle was not giving up.

"Leo is asleep, like we should be," Donatello said.

"Splinter rrread?" Raph couldn't help it and a smile crawled over his beak. Mikey seemed to have recovered his stubbornness.

"Splinter is sleeping too, you should as well," the purple ninja told him.

"Rrrrraph rrread?"

Raphael froze when he heard Mikey say his name. His jaw dropped in surprise. He braced himself for the reaction from his other brother. He hardly could believe it, Mikey was trying to request for him to come read for him?

"No, we are going to sleep," Don said, Raph was very surprised that there was no irritation in his brother's voice. It had kept the same gentle yet firm tone and previously.

Raph shook his surprise off; he slowly walked out of his room and headed downstairs. Not wanting to hear more of Don's attempt to put Mikey to bed. It just sounded so strange.

He walked into the kitchen, wanting to have something to drink. The turtle grabbed a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator and fetched a glass from a cupboard. He stood by the table and poured himself the drink.

As the ninja drained the container, he caught a sight of the kitchen knife from the corner of his eye. It was in its stand as it was supposed to be, too far for Mikey to reach it.

Raph put the glass down and his gaze drifted to the knife. He had tried once already, but using his Sai instead. Leo had stopped him and Splinter decided to remove his trademark weapons until further notice. Raphael didn't miss them, once he probably would have but not now. Now he just felt he would do too much damage with them, irreparable damage, almost like he did with Mikey and then he had just used a pipe.

Almost like he was in a trance, Raphael walked to the stand and picked the knife up. The kitchen utensil had a black handle and a long sharp blade. The turtle examined it carefully, almost as if he had never seen a knife before.

Then he raised his left hand and clenched the fist. For a moment, he just held the left hand up and stared at it. Then his eyes diverted to the knife in his right. Raph looked at his left wrist and slowly the knife began descending towards it.

It never touched the skin. The wrist of his knife hand was grabbed firmly. The red masked turtle stared for a moment at the knife and his left hand, before looking at the one holding his right. There was something not right.

Raphael frowned and blinked his eyes. He looked to his right. For a moment, he wondered if he was dreaming. The turtle had to blink his eyes two times before they fully registered who it was.

Holding his right hand and staring at him with a grim face was Donatello. The knife dropped from Raph's grasp but before it fell down to the floor, the purple clad turtle grabbed it but never took his eyes of him.

"Don't you dare," Don's voice was very cold.

 **End chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted 22/02 2006

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

"You are not escaping this so easily," Don said backing away from Raphael.

"E-escape?" the red masked turtle blinked as if he was waking up. Raph looked down to stare at his raised hands. He ignored the clattering sound when the olive green ninja threw the knife to the sink.

"You think you can walk way from this just like that." Donatello approached again, his tone almost venomous.

 _Did I try again?_ Raph ignored his brother and continued to stare at his hands. He never really seemed to remember his attempts. He just remembered Leo suddenly prying the Sai from him once. Now he just recalled dropping the knife and Don catching it.

"You are a bloody coward, Raphael!" Don shouted and grabbed Raph's shoulder and turned him violently to face him. "You don't even have the guts to face it!"

Raph frowned; a glimmer of his old personality came through. He glared at the angry purple clad turtle in front of him.

"Why do you care suddenly?" he growled, surprising himself. He hadn't sounded angry for a long time.

Don stared the red masked ninja straight in the eyes. They were almost beak-to-beak. One was frowning and the other scowling, sneering at each other.

"I don't," Donatello finally hissed. "I just want you to suffer the consciences. Mikey might one day recover, he might one day even return somewhat to normal. But while that hasn't happened yet, I want you to see every single day what you did!"

"You… want me to suffer?" Raph narrowed his eyes. For a moment, his guilt and pain vanished. He could only see the turtle in front of him. "You want me to SUFFER?!"

"I do," Don answered in an emotionless tone.

The next moment was a blur for Raphael. He had become furious, how dare his brother to want him to suffer like this? With a roar, he charged and slammed his body against Don who was a moment too late. The purple clad turtle fell down and hit his head hard on the stone floor. He was pinned down and a fist collided with his beak causing him to lose consciousness.

Raph raised his fist again for another strike, but no response from his target seemed to wake him up. For a moment, he just sat and blinked down at the limp form underneath him, one hand raised and ready to hit.

"No," he whispered when seeing that he sat on top of Don and the olive green turtle was completely out.

"No… I… not again." He grabbed Donatello's shoulders and shook him. "No, no, wake up. Donny wake up!"

"What's going on here," Leo came walking into the kitchen. He stopped when seeing Raphael shaking the limp body of their purple masked brother.

"Not again! NOT AGAIN!" Raph yelled and stood up. He ignored Leo and ran out roaring in anguish.

Leonardo wasn't sure what to do, should he go after Raphael or tend to Donatello. But his dilemma was quickly solved with the appearance of Splinter.

"You go after your brother, I'll take care of Donatello," the old rat said. Leo nodded and ran out after Raphael.

Splinter kneeled down beside his olive green son and checked for vital signs. He was relieved to learn that Don was alive, just unconscious. The old rat knew that the turtle was too heavy for him to carry so he simply stood up and found a bowl. He filled it with water and got a washcloth.

"Ah Donatello, if you could only hear and see what you are doing." The aged ninja master sighed as he knelt once more beside his son. The rat had put some herbs in the bowl before he dipped the cloth in it and put it on Don's forehead.

"You fear your brother and that fear has turned into this vicious hate. That's not what Michelangelo needs right now, that his brothers are at odds with each other." Splinter shook his head. Don began to stir so the rat removed the cloth.

"Ugh…damn," the turtle mumbled as his eyes opened slowly. He stared right into the face of his disappointed father. "Master Splinter?"

"Donatello, what do you expect from your brother? He is already tearing himself apart in both guilt and grief," Splinter asked when seeing that Donatello was fully conscious now.

"I…" Don began but then his face hardened. "Please don't call him my brother."

"He is my son as are you, that makes him your brother," the old rat said sternly. Donatello only stood up in silence. Without even looking at his father, he walked out of the kitchen.

 _It is still in there, your unconditional love for your brothers, all three of them. However, you have buried the part reserved for Raphael under a mountain of fear and hate. I can only hope that you will one day dig it up again, how I do not know,_ Splinter thought sighing sadly. He had indeed seen a momentary glint of regret in Donatello's eyes. For a moment, he had actually regretted his actions, but then his fear took over and once more turned it into hate.

* * *

"I did it again Leo… I lost control again," Raph cried. His face buried in his hands and the tears flowed freely. Leo could do little but sit beside him and keep one arm around him for support.

He had chased his red clad brother through the sewers and up to the rooftops. He had finally caught up with him in a secluded area of the city. There Raphael had broken down and fell crying to the ground.

They sat now on top of a large building that may or may not have been a warehouse. Leonardo wasn't sure actually. It could have been a factory, but that was unimportant for now.

"It's ok Raph, it's ok. He is alive, I saw him breathing before I came after you," the older turtle said soothingly. This was still so strange for Leo. Few months ago, Raph would never have been caught dead in a situation like this, crying and being comforted by him.

"That doesn't matter, the point is I lost control again," Raph whispered. "I just… I just got so angry at what he said."

"What did he say?" Leo asked.

"He wants me to suffer, he wants me to see how Mikey is and remember what I did," the red masked turtle told him.

 _Dammit Don._ Leonardo shook his head in dismay. "Raph, I'll talk with him. I don't care what he thinks; he shouldn't be talking to you like that."

"He hates me, Leo. He has every right to hate me," his distressed brother whispered.

"Don't think like that Raph. I am going to talk with him, this has got to stop," the blue masked turtle said. He then stood up and helped Raphael to do the same.

"Let's go home, it's late and we should be sleeping," Leo said but Raph only stared into the distance, hardly noticing his brother.

"I… Leo I…" His eyes closed and he suppressed the tears from coming through. "Don was right. I am a coward. I tried again Leo… I had a knife… Don stopped me."

"Before or after he told you he wanted you to suffer?" Leo asked with a frown. Raph opened his eyes again and glanced at his brother.

"Before," he whispered. Leonardo sighed and put one hand reassuringly on his brother's shoulder.

"Raph… let's just go home," he said with a small smile. Raph looked down, relented to the idea and followed his older sibling back home to the lair.

Once they were home, Leonardo immediately noticed that Don was in his workspace corner. The turtle had apparently been unable to go back to sleep and decided to work on something. Raph ignored it and just went straight to the second level and to his bedroom.

Leo contemplated for a moment his course of action, he could wait until morning but now he would be alone with Don. The blue clad turtle had to admit he didn't wish Mikey to be present if there would be an argument.

Inhaling a deep breath Leonardo approached the corner. Don paid no attention to him like usual when he really sunk into his projects. The blue masked turtle walked straight to his sibling and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Don, we need to talk," Leo said with arms folded when Donatello turned around, a bit startled over the sudden appearance of his brother.

"About what?" the purple clad ninja asked, although he suspected what it was.

"First of all, thank you for keeping our brother from doing a stupid mistake. But I want to talk with you about the reason you stopped him," Leonardo's voice was very stern.

"He is not my brother," Don said gritting his teeth.

"This attitude of yours is getting very tiring, Donatello. You really think you are doing Mikey any favors by acting like this? Mikey needs us all, as one family. Not divided and torn apart." Leo found himself raising his voice unintentionally but he was tired of this. It was a struggle to try keeping the family together and his brother's attitude wasn't helping.

"I am not apologizing if that's what you are after," Donatello snapped at him. Leo found himself growling.

"Like your attitude is towards, Raph, I'm surprised you even stopped him. Why didn't you just watch in glee when he killed himself?" the blue masked turtle snapped right back.

"Because then he would be free. Free from the pain and suffering he caused Mikey," Don growled.

"Donatello, he is suffering already enough. He does not need his beak rubbed in it. Why can't you see in how much pain he is, how guilty he is. He cries himself to sleep. Raphael cries himself to sleep! The bloody hot head himself who called us babies if we shed a single tear when we were kids!" Leonardo shouted.

"Good because I don't care if he does. I want him to suffer!" Donatello shouted right back.

"Donatello, I warn you. You better drop this attitude or you are going to regret it," Leo snapped. Don sneered, his face disfigured in a scowl.

"Is that a threat Leonardo?" His voice cold and emotionless.

"A warning," the older turtle grunted and narrowed his eyes on his brother.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" Don challenged him.

"I am not warning you about what I would do. I'm warning you about the possible consequences of your actions," Leo growled.

"Noted, now if you don't mind." Don prepared to turn away when the turtles heard the wail. Then there was loud and clear a frightened voice:

"DONNAY!"

"Oh great… it just took hours to get him to go to sleep in the first place." Don sighed tiredly but didn't hesitate to head straight for the stairs.

"D-D-D-DOONNNAY!" the voice cried again and Donatello adjusted his speed up the steps.

Down in the work corner Leo still stood shaking his head. Donatello had been saved by the bell, in the form of their hurt brother. However, the turtle fully intended to continue this. Don was not off the hook yet.

Donatello had reached Mikey's room and turned on the light. His brother was trashing in his bed, he had already kicked the blanket off.

"It's ok Mikey, I'm here. I'm here." Don sat down in the bed, it had been lowered after the incident to allow better access and prevent injury if Mike fell off.

Don gently grabbed hold on his brother to keep him still. After a moment Mikey stopped his trashing and rose up to wrap himself around Donatello, crying his name. The purple masked turtle felt that this time it had been particularly bad. His brother had never shouted so loudly and was now hugging him tighter than ever.

 _What is happening in your mind bro, what is going on?_ Don could only think and wonder. It would be no use asking.

"You want me to read for you Mikey?" he asked after the sobs had quieted down.

"Yah," Mikey whispered. He reluctantly let go of Don who helped him lay back down. The older turtle then fetched the blanket from the floor and tugged his brother in. Then he grabbed a book from the nightstand, a children's book.

Donatello had been reading for few minutes when he noticed that Mike was staring rather attentively at him with his right eye. The turtle stopped reading and looked at his brother.

"Something wrong Mikey?" he asked. Mike freed his right arm from under the blanket and reached out for Don, touching him on the beak.

"D-D-Don," he said softly. Donatello smiled; this was the first time since the incident that Mikey used his other nickname.

"Yes, you can call me Don too," the purple masked turtle explained.

"D-Donny," Mike said with out the extra 'a'. Now Don's eyes opened wide in surprise.

Mikey's hand lowered from the olive green one's beak and rested on his shoulder. The younger turtle looked thoughtful in his right eye but also sorrowful.

"Donny… don…dun't…don't…ha…hate," he said with a heavy concentrated voice.

"Rrrraph," Mike said with force. "Don't…hate…Rrraph."

Donatello's eye ridges rose almost skywards in shock and surprise. Mikey wasn't done; there was a slightly concerned look on him now. He lifted his hand, pointed at his ugly scar and then tapped his finger on the right temple.

"A-a-a-accident…" he whispered. "M-my…my fault…not…not Rrrraph."

"M-Mikey," Don whispered. "Y-you remember."

Then pain seemed to overcome the damaged turtle. He grimaced and grabbed his head with both hands. His started to groan and grunt in seeming frustration. Then he started to trash around. Donatello was forced to grab a hold on him again.

"Doonnay!" Mikey cried, the extra 'a' was back. Don grabbed his brother in a hug and the younger turtle wrapped his hands and arms around him.

"Oh god Mikey, part of you is still in there. No wonder you get those tantrums. You still remember. I'm so sorry Mikey, I'm so sorry," he whispered softly, tears forced themselves through.

After awhile Michelangelo was finally asleep again. Don carefully tucked him in but didn't leave his bedside just yet. He continued to stare down at his sleeping brother, thinking about what he had just witnessed.

 _For a moment there, it was like… he knew what to say and do but then he had his tantrum and that seemed too revert him back._ He had one hand gently on Mikey's blanket covered plastron.

He was also thinking about what Mikey had said, it had been strange to hear it. Mike had today acknowledged Raphael. Even hugged him, then when it was bedtime had even tried asking for Raph to read. Don felt a lump form in his throat. Was his brother really telling him something?

Then he heard a noise outside. Don stood up and walked towards the doorway. He just missed Raphael climbing down the stairs to the bottom level. The purple clad turtle frowned and really had no idea why, but he followed.

Raphael didn't notice him and walked straight towards the weapon rack. Don raised an eye ridge. Raph had retrieved a single sai from the rack. The red clad one now just stood there and examined it; he then gave a wistful sigh.

Don turned away not really interested in Raph examining his old weapon. However, a growl caught his attention and the turtle whirled around. He gasped in shock at the scene in front of him.

Raphael was on his knees now and was his left hand raised. In his right was the sai, blooded with his own blood. His wrist was slit open and the blood flew freely.

"Finally," Don heard him mutter.

"I can be free. I'll never hurt anyone again."

"NO!" the purple clad turtle surprised himself by shouting. His fear and hate seemingly vanished. No longer did he see a turtle he loathed for hurting Mikey. He saw Raphael, his hot-tempered brother.

Donatello rushed towards Raph who didn't seem to have noticed him despite the shout. The olive green ninja ripped off his mask and knelt beside his brother, pulled the bleeding left wrist to himself and began bandaging it with his own mask.

"W-what… Don?" Raphael first now acknowledged that somebody was actually beside him. However, he had already lost much blood and was still dazed so he didn't fight back.

"Damn, you cut too deep," Donatello whispered when he saw that his mask was only slowing the blood flow but not stopping it.

The olive green turtle grabbed Raph's right arm and slung it around his shoulder, then he heaved his brother up. The hot-tempered turtle was already feeling the effects of blood loss and was very weak. Don almost had to drag him towards the infirmary.

Donatello didn't give up; he ignored the clatter when Raph lost the blood covered sai. The dark green turtle now hung limp on his brother. Fearing the worst, Don hastened his pace.

He finally did manage to drag Raphael to the infirmary and some how heave him to the bed. Once the turtle was lying, the purple clad one immediately began working on the cut on the wrist. He stitched it and wrapped it up but knew that wouldn't be enough. Raph would need a blood transfusion.

Don immediately began preparing himself as a donor and Raphael to receive it. He and his brothers were of the same blood type as far as he knew. He had tested all of them once in case that kind of operation was necessary.

The whole time Donatello's mind was racing. All of his hateful comments geared towards his red clad brother replayed in his mind. He saw the distraught and guilt ridden face Raph had sported ever since the incident. Then Mikey's words from just minutes earlier.

' _Don't… hate… Rrraph'. 'A-a-a-accident'. 'M-my…my fault…not…not Rrrraph'._

Donatello sat down once the operation was finished. He put a small bandage on the wound on his arm were he had injected the needle. Raph was now in a peaceful slumber and all the turtle could do was waiting.

 _What have I done?_ Don thought with a sorrowful sigh. _How did I become so… hateful?_

He heard a gasp from outside and then a voice whispered 'Raph'. Shortly later, most likely following the blood trail, Leo entered the infirmary and was quite stunned at what he saw. Raphael lying on the infirmary bed, his wounds mended and on a chair nearby sat Donatello clearly guilt ridden.

"You were right," Don said sorrowfully. "You said I would be sorry… now I am."

"What happened?" Leo asked firmly, in his hand was the blood covered weapon.

"Raph sneaked out of his room and went for the weapon rack. He picked up the sai you are holding and cut his wrist deeply. We almost lost him," the purple clad turtle whispered, he just managed to hold back the tears.

"Uh… did you say we?" the older turtle asked surprised. Was Donatello actually acknowledging Raphael?

"You are right Leo… I didn't see it. I only saw the person who hurt Mikey and… I was so scared it would happen again with us as well… I… my fright overwhelmed me, I couldn't face it. I just… Raphael isn't the coward here. I am." Don shook his head sighing sorrowfully.

"What made you overcome your fear? Seeing Raphael actually hurt himself?" Leo asked, remembering his own words. _'I'm surprised you even stopped him. Why didn't you just watch in glee when he killed himself?'_

"Partly," Don admitted. "Also because… of Mikey. He told me… told me not to hate him."

Leonardo's jaw dropped in surprise. Before he could ask for clarification, Don had begun telling him about the event in Mike's bedroom. He was even more stunned to hear that their brother had managed to say Don's nickname correctly.

"But then he had a tantrum," Don said. "And it seemed too revert him back, but I am positive now; he has tantrums because he remembers. But he can't do anything, he's stuck."

"What has transpired here?" a voice interrupted them. Leo stepped out of the doorway to allow their master in. Both turtles then told him what exactly had happened. Splinter narrowed his eyes on Donatello who bowed his head shamefully.

"I am sorry master how I have been behaving towards Raphael the past month, I realize now that I shouldn't hate him for what he did," the purple clad turtle whispered.

"I am not the one you should apologize to, but I am grateful that you have finally overcome your fear and changed your hate back into love," Splinter said now with a smile. "How is Raphael?"

"He should survive, the wound was deep but I managed to stitch it and stop the bleeding. I then had to perform a blood transfusion, he lost a lot of blood," Don explained, glancing regretfully at his sleeping brother. "I could have stopped him."

"Hold it, we are having enough blame games going on in this lair," Leo suddenly said and stepped closer to his brother. "Just like Raphael didn't know how to behave with Mikey yesterday morning, you didn't know how to behave with Raphael. You didn't know that he shouldn't have been handling a weapon, even though you stopped him earlier. At least you saved him."

"Leonardo is correct, let's not place any blame on this. If anything, I should be to blame for not keeping a more careful watch on Raphael," Splinter said.

"You should go clean yourself up, you're covered in blood," Leo patted Don on the shoulder. The purple one looked down and saw that indeed part of his plastron and arms had dried blood on it, Raphael's blood.

"I'll clean up the blood, why don't you two go back to sleep. I'll let you know when Raph wakes up," Donatello said as he stood up.

"Are you sure, I can take a watch if you want to sleep," his older sibling offered. Don shook his head.

"I… want to be there when he wakes up… I have an apology to deliver," he muttered.

Don began cleaning the floor on the dojo and worked his way after the trail of blood to the infirmary. He then went to the bathroom to clean up. When he returned, Splinter was still there beside Raphael's bed.

"Master, why don't you go to sleep? I'll keep an eye on him," Don said when he walked closer to them.

"I will in a moment my son. I was just wondering," the old rat said and turned to face his waking student and smiled. "You never answered my question. What do you expect of your brother?"

"I expect nothing of him, I want him to recover and know that I don't blame him any longer. You were all right. This was an accident. I was being a coward and relented to hurting my brother more instead of helping him like I should have," Don answered. His Master nodded satisfied with the answer.

"I can see you have truly realized what your fear had been doing. Now we must help Raphael overcome his guilt," he said. Donatello bowed for his father and Splinter bowed in turn. The old ninja master then retired to his room.

Donatello sat back on the chair beside the bed once Splinter was gone. He at first stared down at the floor, hands clasped together as the turtle thought things over. Then the purple masked ninja looked up and glanced towards his sleeping brother.

"I'm sorry Raph… I was an idiot… I don't want you to suffer," he whispered and drew the chair closer. Then as he had done with Mikey, he gently caressed the blanket covered plastron. "You are not a coward, I was."

"I should never have said those dreadful things to you, you were hurting already and I should not have poured salt on the wounds," the turtle continued, slowly the tears crawled down. "Mikey needs you. He is still there, a part of him at least. He doesn't blame you for what happened. I shouldn't either."

"I need help Raph… I can't do this alone any longer." Donatello sighed. His eyelids were becoming heavier as the lack of sleep caught up with him.

Slowly he sunk down, his head rested on his brother's plastron and one arm lay across Raph. The other hung almost touching the floor. Don drifted into peaceful slumber in his awkward position. That's how Raph found him when the red clad turtle finally woke up the next morning.

 **End chapter 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted 11/03 2006

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

He couldn't really remember much. Only glimpses, flashes of memory. Yet for some reason he knew. It was familiar, something that he had once been. They scared him, those memories. Frightened him and he just wanted them to go away.

Sometimes he just lay in his bed and stared. Didn't make a sound to indicate he was up. Eventually the turtle would fall asleep again and then his brother would come the next day and wake him up.

Mikey frowned. He recognized the room yet it sometimes was so alien, deep, dark and scary in a way. His face softened and his head turned to the side to look at the doorway.

Occasionally it was as if something took over, a character that he should have known. However, it faded away almost just as quickly and was steadily growing weaker. It had used its last strength to speak through, begging his brother not to hate. Mikey desperately tried to cling to that character every time it came through. Because it was him, the person he used to be.

"G-g-ood… bh…bye… t-take… c-ch… care of… h-him," Mikey whispered with heavy concentration in his face. Then he cringed as he tried to grab it, he didn't want it to go but it was. He opened his mouth, tried to speak again like this. All that came was a cry.

Almost immediately, a turtle came into the room. Mikey began trashing in his bed, the blanket flew off as he kicked and hit.

"D-donnay!" he wailed when he felt the firm hands hold him down, preventing him from injuring himself.

"Shh, it's ok Mikey," his brother said. It was the wrong voice. "It's Leo. Donny is busy right now."

"L-Leo?" the younger turtle stopped trashing and lay still. He stared up at the other turtle who let go off him.

Leonardo had been prepared for this. He knew Mikey would wake up eventually during the night and usually it was Donatello who had to go in and calm him down.

However, since Don was now in the infirmary waiting for Raph to wake up, Leo didn't want him to have to worry about their damaged brother. He was taking a risk he knew; Mikey didn't allow just anybody to stop his tantrums.

"Are you still in there Mikey?" Leo asked softly and patted his brother gently on the shoulder. He smiled warmly at the otherr turtle who stared back, with wonder in his eye only a child could portray.

"It is strange Mikey… we've always kind of looked at you as our youngest brother. I don't know why. You always portrayed this innocence and playfulness that we kind of forgot in ourselves," the blue masked ninja said. He wasn't sure how much Mikey understood him now.

"No matter what happened, you could always find a joke in every situation. You could always see the bright side of everything." Leonardo sighed shaking his head. He looked back at Mikey who was now the verge of falling asleep again.

"And now… you really are the youngest, I doubt you comprehended much what I said." he smiled weakly and watched his brother drift into peaceful slumber.

 _We will help you, you may have to relearn everything from scratch but you will always be Michelangelo, our goofy brother._ Leo picked up the blanket and covered his brother, tucking him snugly in. Then he gently caressed Mikey's head before standing up and leaving the room.

* * *

 _He could feel a presence, or was it just a dream? Raph wasn't sure, everything was foggy around him. He heard a voice. Somebody was singing or chanting._

 _The turtle walked in the direction of the voice, felt around with his hands as there wasn't much visibility. He got closer and heard now clearly it was a child singing. Not just any child, his heart almost stopped. This was how Mikey had sounded before his voice broke._

 _Then part of the fog cleared and Raphael stopped short, on the floor Mikey sat and clutched a teddy bear. However, it wasn't teenage Mikey; it was his little brother when he had been much younger, four or five years old and even younger._

" _Cute little bugger isn't he," a voice addressed him from behind. Raph spun around and his eyes almost bulged. It was Mikey, teenage Mikey, smiling is familiar goofy grin._

" _M-Mikey?" the red clad ninja whispered and stepped forward._

" _Hi Raph," the orange wearing turtle greeted him, glanced slightly his way but then looked back at his younger self who had taken no notice of them._

" _Don't leave him Raph, he needs you," older Mikey said. Raph frowned and turned to stare at the young turtle._

" _We need you." The teenage orange wearing turtle looked at the red clad one again._

" _W-what?" Raph glanced towards his brother, the older version._

" _We need you, don't leave us," Mikey said and the fog began to surround him and he started fade away._

" _Mikey? Mikey wait," Raph called but was too late. His brother vanished. He turned to the child that now looked at him. Big brown eyes stared up at him; there was a large smile on his beak. The child struggled to his feet and faced the red clad turtle, held out his hands towards him._

" _Rrrraph," he said. Raphael gulped and started to walk forward. The child stood still waiting. A large shadow appeared from behind; the older turtle frowned and then froze in shock._

 _He saw himself, or he thought it was. This Raphael held a pipe and his face was disfigured in an angry scowl. He stood directly behind the unsuspecting child; the hand with the pipe was raised._

" _NO!" Raph yelled and darted forward reaching out for the child. The pipe fell._

Raph woke up with a start; he was stunned to see that he wasn't in his hammock or his room for the matter. Feeling something heavy on him, he looked up and his eyes bulged out, Donatello lay half on top of him sleeping. The rest of his brother's body was on a chair.

 _I'm…I'm in the infirmary?_ The red masked turtle then noticed the bandage on his left wrist. _Oh no… I actually did it?_

He couldn't remember much from yesterday's night. He recalled returning home with Leo and going straight to his room. Climbed into his hammock and had every intention to go to sleep.

Raph frowned, now he could remember. The turtle had heard the argument between Leo and Don. It had been so painful to hear Donatello's hateful words. However, Leo had stuck by him, warning the purple clad turtle to drop his attitude.

The next moments after that were a blur, he recalled hearing Mikey wake up and began crying, then hearing Donny's voice when he was quieting him down. After that there was nothing.

The dark green turtle looked at his bandaged hand again and then at the sleeping form of his brother. Had Donatello done this? He recalled his brother's words, wanting him to suffer, didn't want him to die and escape so easily. However, Raphael just couldn't believe it; he couldn't believe that Don had saved him just so he could continue to suffer.

It was one thing for Raph to blame himself, torture himself for what he did. However, he wasn't going to even consider that Don had become this cold, despite knowing that his purple clad brother despised him.

 _They… they must have ordered him to save me,_ Raph reasoned, that didn't sound too farfetched. _It has to be._

"Hm… wha?" Don began to stir. Raphael froze; maybe if he pretended to sleep he would escape being verbally abused.

"Damn, I fell asleep?" Donatello rose up and began rubbing his eyes. "Sorry Raph, didn't mean to crush you."

 _Huh?_ He could clearly hear that Don wasn't exactly directly speaking to him, still thought his brother was asleep, but the tone of the voice had surprised him. His hand was lifted up as the other turtle inspected the bandage.

"Looks like the stitches are holding under that bandage," Don muttered and stood up. Raphael carefully opened on eye to peek at his brother. He had to restrain himself from opening it completely in surprise. His purple masked sibling was staring down at him regretfully.

"Wake up soon, Raph, I want to apologize," Donatello whispered and patted his brother on the plastron before turning away.

 _A-apologize?_ Raphael's eyes opened completely when hearing what Don said. The other turtle walked to a table further inside the infirmary and looked at something there.

"Don?" he decided to make it known he was awake. This had just stunned him so much. Donatello spun around and Raph feared everything would be forgotten once he saw that his brother was awake.

"Raph? Oh thanks heaven you're awake." Don immediately ran back to the bed. Raph rose slightly up and pretended to be just awake, he winched slightly when putting to much weight on his left hand.

"W-what happened?" Raphael asked but didn't get one right away. Donatello had grabbed him in a tight hug and half lifted him up from the bed.

"Raph I'm sorry… I'm so sorry how I have been behaving. I should never have said all those things to you. You shouldn't have to be suffering because of this. They were right, this was an accident," Donatello said at almost top speed and hugged his brother even tighter.

"W-wha?" the red clad turtle was still a big dumbstruck that his brother didn't seem to despise him any longer. In his mind, Don had every right to do so.

"Just lay back down, you lost blood. You cut yourself pretty deep," Don said and gently pushed Raph back down to the bed when releasing him.

"W-who are you and what have you done to Don?" Raph finally asked although he was surprised to learn how weak his voice was, and he did feel slight disorientation. His brother chuckled, although he wasn't sure if his brother was joking or not.

"I really mean it Raph. I really am sorry how I have been behaving. It was… well," Don sat back down in the chair. "I was being the coward Raph, not you. In fact you are braver than I am."

"I-I am?" Raph raised an eye ridge. Don nodded.

"I was scared, Raph, I feared it would happen again. My fear forced me to build a wall, distance myself in a crazy attempt to prevent it from happening. I thought if I did, nothing would happen. Like I said, I was being a coward. I refused to see things in their proper perspective, I… I just saw…"

"A lunatic bashing your brother," Raph finished for him. Donatello cringed not liking the choice of words.

"Well… I guess," the purple masked turtle said.

"Look, it was ok Don… I couldn't blame you for hating me," Raphael muttered.

"I don't hate you Raph and I never did. I just thought I did, but last night proved that I never really did. I was just scared," Don told him. "I witnessed it when you cut your wrist Raph… it just snapped into place then, I realized things then. I just about managed to save you. But it wasn't for me, it was for Mikey."

"Mikey?" the red masked turtle asked confused. Donatello nodded and smiled slightly.

"There… there is still something left of old Mikey in him. At least I think so, last night he told me not to hate you. He saw what I was doing and he managed to tell me to stop and Raph, he doesn't blame you for what happened," Don said.

"H-he doesn't?" Raph frowned.

"No Raph, it was a struggle for him. He still can't speak properly, his brain still isn't functioning completely right, but he did manage to say it. He said it wasn't your fault, and if anything it was his fault, he said it was an accident," his brother explained.

"No, he can't believe that. It was not his fault," Raph growled and tried to rise up but Don stood up and prevented him from sitting up.

"Whoa, hold still Raph, your body is still recovering from the blood loss," he said and pushed is brother back down.

"Mikey can't believe it was his fault, it wasn't. It was I who lost control, it was I who did this to him," Raph snapped but didn't struggle against Don.

"Raph, calm down," Donatello said calmly. "It's ok, you can tell Mikey that if you wish later. Right now just rest, your body needs it."

"Why would he think it was his fault, why?" Raph whispered, tears threatened to come forward.

"I don't know Raph, we will probably never know. It seems that he has those tantrums because he has a memory flash from who he used to be, either it frightens him or frustrates him. At any rate, his mind is in a mess and it's hard to determine what he is thinking." Donatello sat back down. "He's an overgrown toddler now, Raph. I hate having to treat him like that but we must. He sometimes has no idea what he is doing; he doesn't always understand what we say."

"He's like that because of me," Raph muttered and glared at his hands and especially the right one, the one that had held the pipe.

"Raph, I need your help," Don said, catching his brother completely by surprise.

"Wha? How?" he glanced toward the other turtle startled.

"I have been selfish for the past month; I have not really included any of you in Mikey's rehabilitation. I thought I could handle it alone, but I don't think I can and I shouldn't. Mikey needs us all to help him, all of us," Donatello explained.

"Why me? Why not Leo… or Master Splinter?" Raph asked.

"Because you need it to Raph and he needs you as well." Don sighed and looked down. "I think just yesterday proves it, Mikey wants you as well."

"How can I help?" Raph muttered looking away to stare at the wall.

"I'll show you," his brother said.

* * *

Leonardo walked into Mikey's room and turned on the lights. Although he had never done this before, he did have Don's schedule memorized. He knew exactly what to do, even though it was usually his brother who did it.

"Ok Mikey, time to get up," Leo walked to the bed and shook his brother gently. He braced himself for the reaction since his brother was used to Don waking him up.

"L-leo?" the right eye opened and stared curiously at his older brother. The blue masked turtle smiled and helped his brother to sit up.

"Yes Mikey, Donny is still a little busy. So I'm taking care of you this morning," Leonardo explained, as far as he knew Donatello was still in the infirmary with Raph.

"Donnay?" the younger turtle stared at him wide eyed. "Whur…where?"

"He is downstairs with Raph," Leo told him and was relived that his brother smiled.

"Rrrraph?" he said and raised his hands towards the blue clad ninja. Leonardo smiled wider and hugged his brother. Mikey wrapped his shaking arms around him. "L-leo."

"Yes it's me," the older turtle said. "Now, you want to try and walk down?"

"Yah," Mikey responded and they parted. Leonardo helped him sit on the edge of the bed and then heaved him up. His legs were still shaky and he had to hold onto the basic green turtle in order not to fall down.

"Ok, just one step at a time, we are in no hurry," Leo instructed him and held his brother securely as they began the slow walk towards the doorway.

It took a while but they eventually managed to get out of the room. Mikey giggled and smiled at every step he managed to take. Only once did he stumble, it had scared him slightly but the turtle refused to be let down to crawl.

"You're doing good, Mikey, now we must go down the stairs. One step at a time, no rush," Leo told him gently and positioned himself so he would back down and be ready to catch their brother.

"I gho…gho down," the younger turtle said rather proudly as he began descending the stairs.

"Yes, you're going down the stairs," Leo agreed with a grin. "And you are doing a fantastic job at it too."

"L-leo?" Mikey looked at his brother. "D-donnay…Donnay ha…hates… Rrrraph?"

Leo stared slightly surprised at his brother. Then he remembered what Don had told him yesterday and his grin changed into a smile.

"No Mikey. Donny doesn't hate Raph. At least not anymore, they are friends now again," he said, hoping it was actually true. The blue masked one had no idea how Raph would react.

"Fhr…fhrie…fhriends?" Mikey smiled and his brother nodded. They were now at the bottom level.

"Alright Mikey, now to the kitchen for breakfast," Leo instructed and they began walking away from the stairs.

"See Rrrraph," Mikey said with a slight frown. "Whur…where Rrrraph is?"

Leonardo wondered if he should take his brother to the infirmary. Raph was probably sleeping and Don as well. The turtle wasn't sure how to explain why his brother was there with a bandage on his hand. However, he figured it would be counterproductive to not allow him to see his brother he hadn't even noticed until suddenly yesterday.

"Ok then we must take a turn," Leonardo said and guided his brother towards the infirmary.

When they approached, they heard voices coming from inside, Leo felt slightly relieved. This meant he wouldn't have to handle it alone if Mikey asked why Raph was hurt.

"Raph, you have a visitor," Leo announced when he and Mikey came walking in. Don stood up from the chair immediately.

"Oh sorry Leo, I should have heard him. Did he wake you up?" Donatello asked and was about to walk to them but his blue masked brother waved him off.

"No that's ok Don, I woke him up helped him down. I didn't want you to worry about it today," Leonardo said. Mikey reached out with one hand towards Don.

"Donnay," he said smiling. "Ah…gho down stairs again."

"You did? Good job, Mikey," Don said with a smile. He helped Leo then guide Mikey to the bed when the two got closer.

"Rrrraph?" the damaged turtle addressed his brother who had watched everything silently.

"Yeah Mikey?" Raph looked at his brother. Leo and Don helped Mikey sit down in the chair Don had occupied previously.

"Rrrraph whut… what is?" The turtle lifted one hand and pointed at the bandage on his brother's hand. Raph rose up to sit in the bed.

"I… I'm hurt, Mikey. I injured myself," he said but saw that his brother hadn't quite understood him. He glanced at Don for help.

"Raph had a…" Don hesitated and glanced at the red masked turtle and grinned. "Raph had an owie."

 _Oh great, baby talk,_ Raph groaned inwardly.

"Some words still escape him." The purple masked turtle shrugged. Leonardo had a hand over his beak to prevent his snorting laughter to emerge.

"Still, it's best to speak normally with him, he learns that way," Donatello added. "But sometimes we have to explain simpler."

"It hurt?" Mikey pointed again at the bandage. Raph looked at his hand and then back at his little brother.

"You know what, I don't remember. Yeah I guess it hurt," he said and was rather shocked to find himself speak so normally.

"You cry?" his brother asked, both Don and Leo had to grab their beaks to hold back their chuckles.

"What? I don't cr…" Raph stopped and shook his head, knowing he would be lying if he continued. "No I didn't cry. Not this time."

"Ah… Ah luv… you Rrrraph," Mikey said suddenly and reached out for his brother with both shaking arms. Raph was forced swallow a forming lump in his throat; he glanced at Don and Leo who both nodded. The red masked ninja leaned forward and grabbed his younger brother in a hug.

"Yeah… I love you too bro," he whispered feeling the tears threatening to come yet again. "Sorry I hurt you."

Leo looked at Don and noticed his brother was smiling. He hadn't seen Don smile Raph's way for a long time.

"So I take it you two have made up so to speak?" Leo asked his purple clad brother.

"Yeah." Don nodded and turned his head to face the older turtle. "Thank you for waking Mikey up for me."

"No problem, I should have offered to help more already. But well," Leo looked at Raph and Mikey who still hugged. "I guess I was kind of busy keeping an eye on our other brother."

"You took care of Raph and I took care of Mikey. But we better combine our efforts from now on, they both need it," Donatello said.

At that moment the two other turtles parted. Raphael dried his own face with the back of his hand. Mikey still stared at him attentively.

"Mikey, we have to let Raph rest now, you can come back later," Don approached his brother.

"Ookay Donnay, bye bye Raph." Mikey waved his brother; the three other turtles froze when hearing their brother say Raphael's nickname flawlessly.

"Yeah… um see you around, bro." Raph was the first one to find his voice. Donatello helped Mikey stand up and together the two turtles walked out of the infirmary.

"You don't remember anything from yesterday night?" Leo asked as he approached the bed.

"N…No Leo, it's a blur," Raphael muttered as he lay back down. "I… just remember hearing you and Don argue and then when Don was calming Mikey down."

"Ok, I'm going to let you rest now. But we are going to talk about this later, well if not me then probably Master Splinter," Leonardo said and patted his brother on the right arm.

"Yeah, yeah," Raph muttered and felt his eyelids get heavier. He was soon sleeping once more.

 **End chapter 4**


	5. Epilogue

**A/N:** Chapter originally written and posted 11/03 2006

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"Ok Mikey, you have to stand." Don helped his brother to rise up from the floor. He steadied the shaking turtle that desperately clutched to him.

"Mikey, you are going to have to try and walk on your own," the purple clad turtle instructed him. The younger one looked at him confused.

"Come on Mikey, ya can do it," Raphael said were he was standing a slight more distance away.

"Walk to Raph, Mikey," Don said but their younger brother refused to let go.

"Wha…wha…?" he looked at Donatello and then Raph utterly confused.

"Go to Raph," the olive green turtle said and gently freed himself from Mikey's hold and slowly pushed him forward. Raph was at ready holding out his hands.

"Come on Mikey," he said grinning. "Ya can do it."

The damaged turtle frowned in heavy concentration, glanced at Don once more before taking one step forward. He wobbled and almost fell, but just about managed to stop himself. Donatello followed but did not hold him; but the turtle was ready to catch his shaky brother.

Mikey took another step; he almost fell again but managed to steady himself. Donatello gave Raph a glance, both turtles smiled. It looked like this was working.

"Come one Mikey, you can do it. Just few more steps," Raph said.

Mikey took a third and the fourth but then his knees gave in. The turtle fell forward but before he even reached the floor he was gently but firmly grabbed by Raph. The red masked turtle had lunged forward as soon as he saw that his brother was going to fall.

"Good job Mikey, you did good," Raphael said, he noticed the disappointment in his brother's face. "It's alright Mikey, you will walk again."

"This is was a very good job you did. Mikey," Don said patting his brother on the carapace. Raph gently lowered the young turtle to the ground.

It was now the second month since the incidence. Ever since Raph actually began participating more with Mikey's rehabilitation, the turtle's process had accelerated. His hands had stopped shaking at all and he had much more control over them.

However, he still needed to learn to walk, as well his speech and understanding it was still far off. Donatello was positive that he would start showing process in that field soon.

Raphael was feeling slightly better. The guilt of what he did still bothered him, but his nightmares had stopped. Little bits of his old attitude were beginning to surface again. He had yet to begin wearing his weapons though; Master Splinter still thought there was a risk.

The red masked turtle didn't notice it really. At the moment he was quite content on redeeming himself by helping his brother. Now Mikey didn't want to lose sight of him either and also preferred to have Leo and Splinter in view.

Leonardo sat on the ledge near the dojo area were Don and Raph had been getting Mikey to walk on his own. The turtle was proud of his brothers, just a month ago there had been a rift between them. Now they dutifully helped each other take care of the damaged one. He finally felt less worried and more content.

However, the proudest was Master Splinter. He watched from his chamber door as his sons helped each other. Especially with the one that needed it the most. The old rat had feared for the family when there had been friction in their relationship, a rift in the family, but it had been mended fortunately before it was too late.

Before Splinter had to take a drastic decision to save it, it would not have been popular he knew. However, it would have been the only way, there had been just too much tension and it wasn't helping.

Now with this development, he didn't have to do it and for that the old ninja master was grateful. He did not want them to know that he had seriously considered sending Donatello away, especially if he continued his relentless attitude towards Raphael.

It wouldn't have been an exile, but it would have been a time off. He would have told his purple clad son to leave for a while and return when he was ready to accept whom his family was. Fortunately it didn't happen and Splinter soon brushed those thoughts away. There was no reason to dwell on them now.

Leonardo stood up from the ledge and walked over to his father. The old rat noticed that something lay on his mind. The turtle bowed respectfully and Splinter returned it.

"What is on your mind my son?" he asked.

"Sensei, Raph was talking with Casey yesterday and he suggested that we change the scenery a little for Mikey. The man is ready to take us to an old farmhouse that belongs to his grandmother. It is abandoned and secluded; we would be in no danger of being discovered," Leonardo explained.

The old ninja master recalled the human his two sons had med two months ago, quite by accident. He recalled when this same man came few days ago and accidentally interrupted their practice session. It had been the first time the man had come to the lair.

"Hm, a change in scenery would do well for Michelangelo, and probably for us all," Splinter mused while stroking a whisker. "Tell Mr. Jones that we accept his offer."

"Yes Sensei," Leo smiled and bowed before returning back to his brothers.

"Yes, I think we all need to get out of the lair for a while," Splinter nodded to himself and watched where Leo now crouched in front of Mikey to hug him, the other turtle had demanded one. Don and Raph stood close by grinning.

Yes the family was recovering. Hopefully the damaged member would be able to do what he once did again, but only time could tell and at the moment things were looking good for him.

 **The End**

* * *

 **A/N:** Yes I know it's a little strange that Splinter might have sent Don away if he hadn't realized what he was doing. But I felt that this was something the he would have to consider, considering how Donatello was behaving and how it wasn't helping things at all.

And I made a point it was not an exile, but a rather a time off. In my mind not unlike what happened to Leo in season four, when Splinter sent him away to study with the Ancient One.

Of course it never happened, so we don't have to worry about that

I would like to thank Artykidd for talking me into writing this story long ago, I had wondered about this event for a long time. Ever since I first saw 'Meet Casey Jones'.

And thank you for reading it, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

There is a afterthought post available for this fic at my stealthy stories forum. Link to my forum is on my profile.


End file.
